If i could tip my vagina, i would.
she looked like the before picture.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
