and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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