the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
