Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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