If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
