He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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