well most of my day revolves around power hour
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Randomize
