TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I think people are normalizing furries
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize