i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
