Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
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