Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
You work out of a Hotel?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize