Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
