Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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