i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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