Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
