Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm at about main and main street
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
