just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
