She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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