His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
