Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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