I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
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