I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
