I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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