why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
