It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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