Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
