is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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