Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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