Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaÃt comercial?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
