hotel room ftw
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
