Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
