I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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