question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
