So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize