i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Randomize
