Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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