Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
