Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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