If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
