worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I smell like Dick and happiness
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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