Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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