Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize