so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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