It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
