Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
