What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
