the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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