you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
