Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
