i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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