i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
