I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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