you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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