Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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