we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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