We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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