No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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