I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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