thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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