he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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