I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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