Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
