I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
