Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
