That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You are the jesus of drinking
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
