Need sex. Gaining weight.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
