You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
