He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
